"I Can Smell Histories Burning": An Interview-in-Excerpts With Nick Antosca

Nick Antosca is the author of the  novels Fires and Midnight Picnic.  His next novella The Obese will be published by Lazy Fascist Press.  His writing has appeared in n+1, The Paris Review, Hustler, Nerve, Bookforum, and others.  He also writes for film and TV. 

The following interview was conducted "in the form of excerpts" -- Nick selected other excerpts from Fires to answer the questions.

1. What is writing like?

“It’s like sick days as a kid.”

2. What isn’t writing like?

“The front lawn’s pitching and rolling.  There is moaning; it is coming from me.  A hot wind burns my lungs, but it’s like being on Novocain and having your wisdom teeth pulled: you just don’t care.  A tree in the neighbor’s yard burns with simple majesty.  Trees in my own yard, across the street, are burning too.  Everything is crackling, popping.”

3. When you do it, why?

“I don’t know why—perhaps the trauma of the bullet has caused my brain to hemorrhage endorphins—but I am cheerful.  No, not just cheerful.  Nearly euphoric.  Black smoke, spilling ashes from its guts, billows from my house, and this is one of the happiest moments of my life.  I can smell histories burning, and in this landscape of homes the person I used to be remains like a snakeskin, waiting to be incinerated. “

4. When you don’t, why?

“Some subtle curve in the shape of the girl’s eyes—wide as almonds—appears alien, like tundra animal eyes transplanted into a human face.  I blow into my cupped hands, realizing I left my gloves inside.  But I don’t want to break this off, so I keep silent.”